Pop pills, go a document on my dark stand?
Yo this is what happened:
Yo I woke up late it be like 10 in the mornin'
I be still half asleep and sleepy eyed, still yawnin'
I checked my voice mail to see who'd be callin'
I turned on my computer
check my email logged on it
Junk mail, junk communication dog-gone-it
Everybody just tryin to sell me they product
But within was one email that just caught my optic
It said sucidal, took the mouse and clicked on it
She said " Dear KJ you don't know who I am,
You probably don't carefulness cause im just another lover.
I doubt you ever read this, now but if ya can
Sometimes I slash my wrists and even cut my hands
And I touch all alone like nobody understand
And I'm gonna end it tonight I got the in one piece thing planned
Pop pills, leave a data on my night stand
Signed sincerely, Your Number 1 fan
My heart is poundin as I start to type rear
Why do you feel this way do you mind if I ask?
Whats the source and the inflict of the pain that you have
How did you get hold of this way, is it something from the past
God care about you, I hope you understand that
Please don't expiration your life, I beg ya please write final
I finished typin', I sent the email quite fast
I bowed my manager and prayed with all the strength that I have
She said "Man KJ I didn't even know you would write me.
Let me explain why noone could ever like me
It all started when my father used to strike me
Raped and confused ever since 1990
He's gone presently but I can't put it all behind me
I tried to run away but my niggle would always find me
Is God really the one who can help me (yes He is)
Signed tonight your Number 1 Fan
Dear number one adherent I gotta lot to tell you
But with the email here is only so much I can help you
See I know a Father who could never ever founder you
He'll give you a love when nobody ever cared to
I know you might perceive like everybody hates you
And you consistency like you got noone you can relate to
But passing feels like the best place to escape to
But thats a lounge that Satan just wants to narrate you
I'm sorry that you were abused, your father raped you
But you gotta get some backing cause nobody can make you
I know its firm to face but God will give you the strength to
I know you gots a great deal of things you gotta work through
But with this help I know that you can break through
I see it myself all the times He came through
Tell me what you deliberate of what I sent you
I'll be prayin', Sincerely KJ-52
Yo, I'd be pretending if I said this story had a happy endin
But after that hours of darkness I never heard from her again
That night I tossed and turned lyin on my bed en
Cryin and prayin beside these thoughts runnin through my head en
Did she do it, take her life span, or wind up dead en
Or did she not choose it, simply listened to what I said en
Maybe she never got the end one I was sendin
Was it my fault be it something I shoulda mentioned
Every mornin I would just check my email
Checkin for any detail, hopin an prayin that shes well
My emails come back sayin that they'd failed
No such address for Number1Fan(a)hotmail
Days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months en
Time would slip away and I just heard nuthin
No message no email no not even just somethin
What happened to my Number 1 hanger-on I'm still wonderin
Answer: song called #1 Fan
From album It's Pronounced Five Two
Artist is KJ-52.
i have no opinion..but I'll pray too ... I could never imagine life to catch that bad where u freshly kill yourself .. its sad, but remember its not your mistake